Happiness is my thing. I feel a stirring when I read a quote about happiness or find a book on the subject (that I haven’t already read), or when I think about a particularly happy time in my life. Thinking about happiness boosts happiness. Read that last sentence once again but slower this time. (The brain loves repetition. Think of your favorite song: first verse, chorus, second verse, chorus. Chorus. Chorus. Chorus. I rest my case.)
I like to ask myself how can I feel happier; what habit can I implement today that would yield a harvest of happiness tomorrow?
Here are three ways that I have cultivated happiness:
1. Revel in Anticipation for Greater Happiness
Thanks to Gretchen Rubin, I have learned to revel in anticipation; that is, I always have something to look forward to. She says, “Get more bang for your happiness buck: revel in anticipation.” In other words, anticipation is half the fun.
So, here’s what I do: I buy a new book. Recently I bought A Kintsugi Parable—I am looking forward to the Amazon delivery. (Ahem, the Amazon memes hit close to home!) Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold or silver lacquer. In Hello New Life I compared kintsugi with the art of stained glass and came to the conclusion that, even though these object have been broken, they are stunningly beautiful. In fact they are more beautiful for having been broken. Take heart if that is where you find yourself.
I plan a trip. Sometimes it’s just a trip to the botanical gardens. But this week I planned two weekend getaways with friends. Have you ever noticed that planning a trip is often as fun as taking the actual trip? Live with anticipation.
Today I stopped at a coffee shop after work. (I love that little spark of anticipation in the drive-through.) Saturday I plan to go to the farmers market.
The idea is simple: always have something to look forward to.
2. Become a Tourist in Your Own City for an Instant Happiness Pick-Me-Up
Do you remember the excitement getting on the bus and going on a fieldtrip in grade school? It’s just as exciting as an adult.
I learned to be a tourist in my own city from a travel literature course I took in college. The professor assigned a project of visiting ten places in ten days with one caveat: these visits had to be in our hometowns. The next part of the assignment was to create or update an existing Wikipedia page of the places we visited—who knew that adding to a Wikipedia page could be so fun? Here is one of the pages I helped to create.
Museums and other cultural institutions are wonderful places to spend a few hours with a friend, or alone, if you are so inclined. You don’t have to travel far to find happiness; adventure awaits right outside your front door.
3. Reach Out: Connection Brings Happiness to Your Day
We aren’t meant to live in isolation. In fact, there’s not much I enjoyed at all about the recent shelter-in-place order. Don’t get me wrong, I like solitude now and again, but the statewide quarantine order was over the top. I found that I had to reach out during this time.
Henry Nouwen writes about reaching out. He says that it “is far from easy to keep living where God is. Therefore, God gives you people who help to hold you in place and call you back to it every time you wander off.” The idea of being held back can be intrusive, like a bridled horse that’s incapable of choosing its own direction; however, until we can see our situation with clarity, these friendly checks and balances are fitting and comforting.
When we hit rock bottom, sometimes we can’t see beyond ground level, but our friends stand tall like giants, scoping out the conditions. They see our situation from another angle. It’s those different angles that lend new perspective.
Quarantine has ended, at least where I live. I’m back to work, back to church. I’ve been to a picnic. It feels like such a luxury to be with people again.
Connection, not isolation, brings happiness.
Resources and Links
Grab a copy of my book Hello New Life here.
For books on healing: Check out my Pinterest board.
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