Christian Divorce Advice (Part 1): Spend Time Journaling
Have you noticed the many voices clamoring to offer advice? During my divorce I was desperate for advice but often found advice lacking. So I looked to people who blazed the divorce trail. In Resilience: Hard-Won Wisdom for Living a Better Life, Eric Greitens writes, “Those who went before us left us a gift.” With this in mind, I looked for that gift in Christian books offering divorce advice. I didn’t stop there; I also read books on human triumph of any kind.
I believed the written word had the power to heal me. The words that took my breath away found their way into my divorce recovery journal.
Are we looking for advice?
Let’s just pause here a moment and consider advice. Do we really want it?
Yes, we want advice. A Google search for Christian divorce advice yields 46 million hits. We are indeed in search of guidance for our next step.
No, we don’t want advice. We hope the person sitting across from us just listens. (After all, we know what we need to do anyway.)
Straight up, we are gun-shy of receiving advice. We’ve been on the receiving end of really bad advice—even the ancients were troubled by advice spoken out of turn. Remember Job? He was held captive by advisors who, plain and simple, got it wrong. I’d wager to say these “friends” caused more confusion than they did comfort.
Yet for centuries now we have looked to the written account of Job for comfort and advice to carry us through. Thankfully a writer left us a beautiful account of Job’s journey. It’s truly a gift.
How Writing Can Help You Breathe Lighter through Divorce
Creating something out of nothing—even on a blank page—helps me find strength for the next step.
On a page I wrestle with decisions as big as a recent cross-country move or as small as replacing old furniture. I scribble on a page weighing out the pros and cons. I pour what’s in my mind out onto a page. This action helps to bring into focus the trees that loom large in front of me and makes the forest seem clearer and less frightening to trudge through.
In a journal I check off answered prayers.
On a page I thank God for those unanswered prayers, back when I asked amiss.
Take a Moment to Notice How Far You’ve Come.
In my journal that eventually became Hello New Life, I looked back to see how far I’d come. In the divorce process, it is easy to get off track. Henri Nouwen wrote a beautiful piece about getting off track. He tells his readers that they shouldn’t get discouraged when they get off track, thinking they’ve lost everything. He says, “What you have gained, you have gained.”
You haven’t lost everything. That right there is a gem to hold on to when you feel you’ve gone back a few steps.
Take a moment to notice how far you’ve come. Map this out in a journal.
Dear One, breathe again (and more lightly) through journaling. I like to think I am most like God when I create. I might create something a little less grand, but, to me, my creations have been galaxies of healing and worlds of joy.
May journaling help you find your next step in the right direction. Grab a journal and begin today.
Resources and Links
Grab a copy of my book Hello New Life here.
For books on healing: Check out my Pinterest board.